by Sharon Delaney
The Chakram Newsletter: Issue 04
Weddings - they can be an adventure, a warm fuzzy memory to look back on with a soft smile, a time of last minute doubts and frantic scurrying to catch up with a day that is moving much too fast.
“Hey, Lucy, Renee said that the first morning you were back on set the call sheet read, ‘Mrs. Robert Tapert.’”
“Mrs. T,” she said archly, laughing. “It’s a joke. Down here nobody gets married. Well, that’s a terrible generalization, but marriage has been out of mode here for quite some time.”
I feel myself time-warping back to the sixties. “Has it really?” I asked.
“It’s not deemed necessary among people my age,” she said. “But we’ve started a trend and a couple other people we know are getting married now.”
I told her I had had what felt like an odd conversation with someone in my office about a recent spate of marriages among people we knew. I found myself commenting that it seemed more unusual these days to have friends getting married than for them to move in together. I wondered why Lucy decided to buck the trend.
“We wanted to make a public statement of commitment to one another in a way that was culturally significant to us,” she stated. “Since we both grew up Catholic, we were inculcated from birth with a belief that that was the most significant way to do it. The Irish Catholic way. And I gotta say it was fun!”
My images of weddings come from romantic comedies such as The Philadelphia Story with Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn and Jimmy Stewart and all the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movies filled with mix-ups, mayhem and waking up the morning after the wedding not having a clue what you’d done the day before. So my next question was, did she remember any of it?
“I know from the photographs what the church looked like,” she said, confirming my belief that those movies portrayed nothing but the truth. “But I really only remember having all those beloved people around us. Everyone had a great time. We wanted to make it everyone’s fantasy wedding.”
The reception had been hailed by all a success because, although the two families came from different countries, the blending of families and friends went so smoothly.
She explained, “Rob’s family came down to New Zealand for Christmas last year. And all our parents were together in New York when I did ‘Grease.’ I have to give a lot of credit to the fact that both families are Irish. When I first went to spend Christmas with Rob’s family, I was staggered by the fact that these people were just like the people I had grown up with. It was the Irish Catholic parish. They like to have a good party and it meant that there weren’t too many barriers to overcome. I think it made things very easy that we innately understood one another.”
“I’m not married myself and there was a question I’ve always wanted to ask a new bride. “The morning after, when you first wake up - do you remember right away you’re married? Does it feel different?”
“You know what? It is different,” she answered. “All I can say is, I didn’t expect anything to change. Nothing has changed on the face of things, but everything has changed beneath. It feels really good and solid and growing. And I wish this for all people who are making this commitment.”
I had heard the couple who were married right after Rob and Lucy inherited the flower decorations from Lucy’s wedding.
“They were stuck with them,” Lucy laughed. “But the flowers were beautiful and I’m glad they didn’t go to waste.”
“Renee said you cried during the ceremony?”
“Yes, I did. It was touching. I guess I am an emotional person,” she said, sounding a bit surprised.
I told her Renee had added that Lucy’s emotions are very close to the surface, more so than her own.
“Hmm,” she thought out loud, then responded with a very definite, “much”.
I remembered her saying in a recent interview that the morning of the wedding there were some tears and a bit of a rant. And didn’t all brides cry before their wedding in the movies? Goodness, could Hollywood actually be portraying something accurately for a change!
“It was right before the wedding,” she began the story. “We got to the church and the church coordinator said, ‘Guess what? You don’t get a ceremony. You were late!’ And I went ballistic! I said, ‘What are you bloody well talking about! I’m the bride! The bride’s supposed to be late!’” she finished up, laughing. “But I quickly got over it and the ceremony went on as planned.
“Our priest was the most amazing fun guy. He made the ceremony charming and he made everyone laugh. It was really happy. I feel like I got married in the best possible place. It was a good church and genuinely catholic, which means universal, you know? They have gay and lesbian groups in the parish. I liked that and thought, This is a church that I could be part of. One that is inclusive. And I felt very proud of that bunch there.”
I wondered how she’d found the church as she doesn’t spend much time in this country.
“Our wedding coordinator suggested it,” she explained. “She knew of the priest. He’s married many, many people. I think he married Hugh Hefner! He’d never tell you this. He’s just a young guy, but he’s very genuine and I didn’t want some phony baloney Hollywood type. He turned out to be the real article.”
“He told jokes?” I asked.
“He did!”
“During the ceremony?”
“Well, you know, they were entirely appropriate,” she laughed. “Bruce Campbell was one of Rob’s groomsmen and he likes to ask questions and get everything in perspective so he knows where everyone’s going to be. At the rehearsal, he was asking the priest a lot of questions in his inimitable fashion. The priest was slightly taken aback by this and had Bruce pegged as a troublemaker. But this priest can give as good as he gets!” she laughed even louder. “When Bruce came up for a blessing at communion, the priest put his hand on his head and said, ‘In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, I bless you. You’re gonna need it!’ and sent him on his way.”
I had heard there were just a few photos taken - about 1800! I told Lucy about one that I had seen. It had been blown up into an 11 x 14 sepia print and was taken in the reception ballroom. I told her I would try and describe it in the interview. A vertical photos - the photographer far enough away that the two figures seated on a small raised step that ran the length of the room were only filling up the bottom third of the photograph. The figures were Lucy and Daisy. Lucy was sitting sideways on the step and her daughter was facing forward. It was clear Daisy was crying - she had her fists in her eyes and her elbows jutting out to the side. Lucy, in her wedding gown, was leaning forward talking quietly with her daughter - her hair cascading forward, shielding her face from the camera. I don’t remember when I’ve seen such a beautiful photo of mother and child.
“That is a real LIFE magazine photo,” she said, and I knew she was making reference to the photos LIFE always had on the last page of the magazine when I was growing up. “But I would not give that away. It was so personal. It was just about her wanting to take her shoes off and we go through this all the time,” she laughed. “Every mother will understand this. ‘I don’t wanna wear this scratchy dress,’ you know?”
I tried not to sound too astonished when I came back at her with, “You, Lucy Lawless, were making your daughter keep her shoes on!”
“Well, actually, yes, I did. For the photos,” she said, not sounding the least bit apologetic but I was laughing so hard she finally had to admit it was a bit ironic. “Rob told Daisy ‘your mother doesn’t get married every day.’ And then we let her go and change her clothes and she went and had a swim while we all got ready for the reception. It was a good, happy thing all around, but that photo just captured such a perfect Lucy and daughter, mother and daughter moment.”
I told her I didn’t know what the rest of the pictures looked like but that would have been my favorite.
“You saw the best one,” she agreed.
I thought if her mother had been standing nearby during this exchange, she would have fallen down laughing.
“I know. All the chickens come home to roost.”
And then. I couldn’t resist asking the new bride, “How long did you make Rob sleep on the couch for putting you in a tank full of water for a week during the filming of ‘Tsunami’?” Anyone who’s been reading the series of interviews I’ve been doing with Lucy knows just how much she loves being submerged in cold water while filming.
“Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “He wasn’t in the country. He knew better!” she laughed. “What’s more, on the first day we had a cold snap and all our bodies went into shock. It was very depressing getting into that tank. But the water was low then. We hadn’t flooded it that much. It was just dripping down and the water was heated - sort of tepid. However, when it was diffused through small cracks in the ceiling, it was just like standing under a cold shower. It was the most miserable bloody experience.”
There was a lot of moaning going on here, but also a lot of laughter so I felt safe in surmising the memories had lost some of their sting and were becoming part of a good story to tell around the fire. As I watched the episode, I couldn’t believe Rob had done that to her again! She continued.
“Oh my God,” she moaned, theatrically. “To all of us. And then we were sitting in this soup because there were cabbages floating around that were just rotting and stinking. Renee couldn’t stand them more than anyone. She hated that - rotting cabbages floating around. So we would push them over toward her,” she chuckled, gleefully. “We’d stand during the shot when the camera was on her and float them over her way. Her character couldn’t get rid of them, of course. So if you see Renee in the frame with any cabbages, you’ve gotta know she’s in pain.” Aha - now I’m beginning to understand why this agonizing memory is burbling out of Lucy.
“You are mean! You’ve got that evil spot in you,” I said.
“She gives me back every time,” she laughed. “I so love her and so love working with her. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else. And she’s just an invaluable friend. She’ll be a friend for life.”
I told her I really dissect episodes with Renee when I interview her.
“She loves to analyze. She’s got a much more analytical mind than I do,” Lucy explained.
I’ve only got a minute left and there’s so much I wish we had time for, but I grab for the question I wanted most to ask about “Sacrifice.”
“After Xena killed Callisto, I was remembering the campfire scene from ‘Callisto,’ when Gabrielle says to Xena, ‘Promise me, if something happens to me, you won’t become a monster.’ And at this moment in ‘Sacrifice,’ Gabrielle is dead and the first thing Xena does is turn around and skewer Callisto - cold-blooded murder! What was Xena feeling when she did that?”
“It’s time to put this to bed,” she said. “This is never gonna happen again! I remember that moment. I have given in every time - with the exception of the time I let her sink down in the quicksand - and we had formed a love/hate relationship, you know? But it had to end. I think Xena knew this unhealthy thing had to end and do it now. If I don’t do it now, it’s never gonna happen. It’s like killing your sister, I think.”
My time is up and that final remark about “killing your sister” just begs for follow-up questions. But that’s what they invented Post-Its for and I promise to follow up on this line of questioning next time we speak.